dimarts, 1 de setembre de 2015

La nena que no surt a la foto

M'he separat de la meva parella i he experimentat l'angoixa de qui s'afanya a llençar salvavides a les dues filles que hem tingut en comú.

Les pretensions que manifestava en la penúltima entrada eren les d'un projecte marítim i filosòfic, obert, ambiciós; tallers de navegació tradicional, pensament, passat, present i futur conjugats.
No, els tallers anunciats no s'han fet. S'ha navegat en la vida cercant un racó on refer-se del temporal, centrat en crear un escenari on les nines entenguin que son pare és son pare, i sa mare és sa mare, malgrat la mar picada ha separat derrotes d'una flota que semblava compacta,
Abans del trencament, record molt vivament el dia en que vàrem sortir amb la meva filla gran a fer una navegada matinera i plàcida des de Cala Gamba a s'Illot de na Galera. Brisa de terrals. Ella tenia sis anys.
El pare que vol introduir l'infant en el fet marítim prova d'inspirar confiança, però alhora roman sempre a l'aguait de la seguretat, deixant que l'infant explori la coberta, però sempre dubtant de si una llenegada pot convertir la complicitat marinera entre filla i pare en un episodi lamentable,
De quan fondejàrem, en recordo la meva rialla congelada, assegut a popa, per transmetre seguretat a l'infant que s'aventurava fins la proa. Per dins, provava d'activar connexions mentals màgiques que la cobrissin amb una capa protectora mentre ella reptava entre els escàlems punxeguts i la cossia profunda del llaüt. La meva filla no havia de caure, però la meva filla havia d'aprendre a caminar sola sobre la barca, Les mans del meu pensament provaven de suspendre-la en l'aire per fer-la invulnerable.
Consumada la separació matrimonial, caminava amb les mes dues filles per un dels carrers principals del poble al qual m'he mudat. La gran, la de la volta en barca, em va agafar la mà. 'Ai, mon paret, quina pena em fas', em va dir, amb un somriure a la boca, 'Pena?' vaig dir. 'Sí, ets tan mono!'. De sobte, aquell comentari entre burleta i afectuós em va descol·locar. Aquella imatge del meu patir per l'equilibri de la nina sobre la barca es va sobreposar ràpidament a la de la meva filla, agafada a mi pel carrer, convençut de que, com aleshores, era jo qui la mantenia il·lesa, en aquest cas front les noves circumstàncies familiars, En realitat, però, era l'infant que em mantenia dret a mi, insegur sobre la coberta de la vida, que sempre es balanceja.

7 comentaris:

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  5. I am so happy to be finally cured of herpes simplex virus  by herbalist Razor,Ever since i was diagnosed with the virus i have been using medical drugs to suppress it, i later realized it was causing more damage to my health than the virus,i opted for herbs and got to find out about the great work herbalist Doctor razor have been doing with his herbal remedy. i contacted him and he promised to help me get rid of it,after 4 days i received a package fro the delivery service and it was from the doctor who sent me the herbal treatment in Dallas,Texas USA, And he instructed me on how i was going too take in for the 18 days. After completing the dosage he told e to go for a medical checkup and when i did the doctors conducted some test on me but they were stunned that my status was now negative,they conducted several test on me to be sure. i even went to Medical City Dallas Hospital, where they conducted another test and it was still negative. I am so grateful to you herbal doctor razor , God will continue to prosper you,i pray the world gets to know about you and your herbal exploits. Reach him on his email : drrazorherbalhome@gmail.com Whatsapp/Call his cell phone on +2349065420442. PLEASE SHARE , SO THE WORLD CAN GET TO KNOW ABOUT HIM.

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